Friday, November 27, 2009

Yes! Yes! More! (another count)

6 Lipstick on his collar; isn't hers...

6(alternate) Not her lipstick on his collar.

7 No. Not you. Not now. Not ever.

7 Still a child, yet not so innocent.

15 The look in his eyes is lust and all she wants is to satisfy it.

16 I am so lucky; to have found you, to have loved you, to have lost you.

17 You walked away and never looked back but your footsteps echo through the hallways of my mind.

19 The music washes over me like an ocean wave, crashing into me, leaving me shaken and gasping for air.

45 She sparkles like snow in the sun, glittering like ice, she is my personal star but she does not light my way, rather she highlights my mistakes and her very brightness rubs it in my face: how I will never live up to her perfection.

3 comments:

Mike Carrozza said...

6: I like this but I would change "isn't" to "not". Feel like it'd flow better.

7 (first) was harsh and me likey.

19. was just faaaaantastic.

Emlyn said...

Thanks Mike,

I changed the order of 6, attempting better flow--see 6(alternate)
the idea is from a six word novel exercise I did in an english class.

Mike Carrozza said...

Nice.
I have to say though,
I have yet to encounter a situation where I've seen lipstick on a dude's collar :P