Staring Contest

(Song available for free download at amfp.bandcamp.com)

We had a fight. It's hard to tell is someone's won.
Such a strange night. The voices echo and they hant me.
They haunt me.

Near midnight, we crossed the bridge in perfect silence.
Oh, quiet night. The deepest cuts and shallow heartbeats.
Heartbeats.

If we part ways, just know that I will keep my promise
If we part ways, we can try again tomorrow.
(Can we try again) tomorrow?

We walked along, ignoring our hands at our sides.
We walked along, ignoring how low our heads hung.
Can we start over? (Can we start over?)
Can we start over?

We had a fight, but we can try again tomorrow.
(Can we try again) tomorrow?

We walked along, ignoring our hands at our sides.
We walked along, ignoring how low our heads hung.
Can we start over? (Can we start over?)
Can we start over?

(By the way, Thanks Emlyn for posting. I haven't had a chance to read yet, but when I do, you'll know ;))

Silenced

A shipwreck on the sands
I'm falling apart a bit more with every crash
of the waves upon the shore
already broken but intact enough to keep breaking

This week long breakdown
isn't constructive
isn't helpful
these tears aren't healing
aren't soothing
they are just angry and frustrated
hot salty waste of time and energy

These words
I don't know what else to do
what other escape I can take
what other release is allowed myself
because I have no one
and the people I'm with are just making me feel
so much
more alone

I feel better outside in the cold
warmer and more whole
than inside with their eyes and their constructive criticisms
comments about my passion and aggressiveness in issues I care about
well I'm sorry but I was never
lead to believe there was anything wrong with that

I must be mistaken

but these issues matter so why shouldn't I voice my opinion
these things need to be said and need to be heard
so why isn't the public the perfect venue

right now I feel trapped
and silenced
trapped in this house and silenced in my head

I really really really don't
want to cause anyone pain or harm of any kind
but I don't think these thoughts should be silenced


(alternate title; what does it mean when all the valentines you get make reference to your passion and enthusiasm in conversations about issues you care about)

space

Though this isn't home
I feel as if I might not have
a home to come back to

Surrounded by sky I've never felt
so complete, completely alone and
completely myself,
here with no skyline telling
me where to go or how far I can reach

It's been too long and
I don't know if I can go
back to what used to be
a me-sized space.


(I realize this still needs work, but I wanted to share, I miss our meetings!)

Four Dimensional

Take a box,

Now put yourself in that box

Close the lid

Hold your breath

and pray

Remove oneself from the box

by simply opening the lid

Breathe

Step outside

And pray

You removed yourself from the obstacle

Yet the solution was never found

Perhaps the box

Is the question

And the answer

Is simply to remove it

And breathe

And pray

two

there's reason my lover
why we're undercover
when they're misconceiving
the beauty of not

redeeming the ticket
of undeserved time (it's
a bit disappointing
how little we've got)

but Night has forgotten
the keys to the rotten
old door of the day on
her dresser back home

and while she's still mumbling
and searching and stumbling
we'll pull close the moment
until we're alone

See The World

(New We Wear Masks song)

is it a good sign
if my heart
skips a beat or two
when I'm with you?

is there a place
you'd like to see
one you can cross
off your list of
eventually.

would you like to
see the world or
would you prefer
watching the stars
from the hood of my car?
would you like to sit
on a bench or the grass?
let's watch the cars
pass us by.

(not done, but I wanted to share.)