Hello! Hope you don't mind sharing your day Marta. Also, I hope everyone's summer is going well.
"Ah! Good God!" are the words I think immediatly after being startled. It only takes half a moment for me to emit them.
The man who has intruded my space and mind lets out a hearty laugh and follows saying.
"Did I scare you? I'm sorry."
He then pauses and waits for my response. I am slightly caught off guard by the fact that his question was followed by a statement. Not only that; I am still recovering from his initial disturbance. I immediatly answer after choosing to go the stoic route.
"No not at all! I was merely suprised!" I respond. Stoics are never scared.
"Do you mind if I sleep with you?"
Before I can induce humilition with an puzzled face, the man laughs again and corrects himself.
"I mean sleep here. I'm a bit lost and without the sun I don't think I'll find my way again."
It's my turn again. I laugh to signal that I am not offended by his comment and that I am open to pleasent interaction. Immediatly after laughing I begin talking to make my laugh seem genuine.
"Of course! It's nobody's land but God's." I say.
I've made a mistake. I spend an instant praying he's a Christian.
"Alrighty!"
He elongates the "All" and even more so the "right" and I realize he is not a Christian.
"Goodnight then" I say.
This man won't be my friend. I sigh. I'm lonely.
"Ok. Goodnight!"
I stay quiet.
3 comments:
I don't know how to describe what I felt but here goes:
I felt uneasy. The narrator is so calculated it's slightly disturbing, but he/she wants to be friendly and corteous and whatnot. it's really nicely done and feels like Francis' writing. I'm happy you're keeping up with HRC ;).
I liked this a fair amount, but I'd like more. I think the narrator is a character that you can prolong in a short story or novel even. The interactions in daily life.
I agree with Mike, the narrator is so calculated, and it feels like he needs to work very hard at social interactions. Is he afraid maybe? I thought it was great that he could tell that the stranger wasn't christian just by the way he said alrighty, well done, sad how he right away decides they won't be friends though.
nicely done Francis, I liked this short piece, and would be interested in reading more.
Me too, I agree with Mike. The narrator is definitely very interesting the way he's so calculating yet desperate in his interactions, but i feel like I need to see more of him before I can know him better.
I have a few questions though. Where is this taking place? To me it felt like these guys were peasants living in the woods during medieval times, so when the whole Christianity thing came up I thought the narrator was going to get shanked or something. Are these maybe homeless people?
This definitely makes me want to keep reading. Keep it up, Francis! :)
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