Alright guys so I know this isn't my day but I really want to post it! I'm sorry!
Zoe, Roxanne, Catherine, Roxanne's older sister; Veronique, Jessica, Kirsten, and Emily. There I said it, those are there names. Oh, and Ladies, I love you, and for most I loved you.
Do you remember me Zoe? Your little doctor, trying to coax you out of you house to come and play with me. You mother would shoo my six-year-old self away.
"But I want to see Zoe!" I would shout at your mother.
I didn't care how sick you were, or how bad you arthritis, or how bad you asthma was that day. I was your savior Zoe, blond-haired and brown-eyed. Gallantry and achivalry was such a reflex back then, what happened to me?
Roxanne you demoness. I cried over you hair and skin for weeks. Weeks! Holy and divine as you were, holding your baby brother, dragging him through the park. I my head you were my white skinned Andromache, and I was Hector to you.
We both know that it was a lie, I was Samson, and you were terrible, cruel, Delilah. You cut my hair.
Catherine, you smelled of piss and had exema but you still were my first kiss. What more can I say about you? We barely spoke. It happened once, during class in third grade. We were sent to the back closet to get art supplies and you grabbed my clammy sweaty hand and kissed it. I froze in terror, no one could see us because we were behind the door, then you lunged forward and kissed my lips. I cried out and you ran away in fear. The teacher punished us both that day because we refused to tell her what happened.
From afar I watched you Veronique. You, sixteen, me, nine. And I loved you with all my pathetic little heart. My little prick getting hard at the sight of you. My mother would pay you for an evening of watching television. You never saw me stare at your nubile breasts. You were ripe, and elastic. I could never tear my eyes from your lips.
I imagined you touching my penis and my whole body would turn red with heat.
High-school destroyed any love I had left in me to give. I murdered the hopeless little fool that I was and replaced him with a runt. I fucked a girl called Julie, and she called me her boyfriend, but I never loved her. How could she love me?
I stayed small inside until I left that place.
There might have been one. Jessica, who barely knew I existed, mainly because she was gay. All of the jocks would fuck her because no one, including me, knew she was a lesbian. Maybe you were defeated Jessica, maybe you knew and just needed the affection? I understand why I wasn't your lover.
And over the summer, I met Kirsten. The first to want my body. Julie only wanted a boyfriend, not me specifically. I loved Kirsten, and she knew it. When ever I felt that it was the right time to tell her, she would command me, "Don't ruin the moment, just shut up." It was a difficult order to disobey, mid hand-job.
Oh and you Emily how could I forget you? Cultured and lanky. Maybe I was a man at this point. A lifetime of heartbreak teaching me that my true self isn't good enough. I feebly tried to impress her. If she cared, she was a master at masking her true feelings. "Ice-queen", maybe, but you are much too fresh in my memory for me to have nostalgia for you. Reality has not left and distorted you yet.
A lifetime of love, unrequited, undeclared. I hope you don't remember me, all of you. I hope you all never loved me.
1 comment:
I like the different characters! The narrator was really strong and well developed. The transitions between the different love affairs he had were realistic - I felt as though they could very well have been actual people. For such a short time spent on each of them, that was really impressive. I loved the ending. The last line was really effective. I felt like this was only a beginning to something though - like the opening to a novel. I could really see this being a longer piece and WANT it to be a longer piece. Like, why does he wish that none of them ever loved him or remember him? I think you could expand a lot - you have a lot of material to work with. If not to make into a novel, then to make into a longer short story about maybe a love affair that enters his life and how he deals with it in that moment. But yeah no I really liked this. It just got stronger and stronger as it went along. The beginning was a little confusing with the references to different mythological characters. Maybe that's just because I'm not versed in Greek mythology all that well, but yeah. Also the "you" vs. "your"s were mixed a little. And yes, I am very anal about spelling so I feel the need to mention it. In all though well done indeed! :)
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