Your pause pierced my heart like finely fletched arrows.The eloquent silence meant infinitely more than rushed words that came afterwards. Hush now, I know, and your dove-like cooing meant to comfort is not working as intended, a balm for my wounds. It's acting like arsenic, burning, searing, only serving to increase the pain not soothe, though I know it's good for me. I stoically sew it shut; the gaping edges of the gash are now bound together, (I wish I could have extracted you from my heart in the process) but I feel poisoned as if everything that touches me will be tainted by history. You sigh releasing your worry that I'd bleed to death at your feet as you stood there useless. The sun is piercing the dark with her rays and I'm glad for the light to stumble away as your silence still rings in my ears.
(I can't remember if I have read this at a cwc meeting...if so apologies, also I could not come up with a title that satisfied me, ideas are welcome)
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I had trouble following what you were trying to get at in this piece. I found the imagery kind of confusing. The poison becomes a wound that has to be mended and goes back to something coursing through your veins, but also something to be extracted from your heart. At the end the visual and auditory imagery becomes jumbled up (the light stumbles, replaced by the ringing silence). Also, I'm pretty sure the sun is usually male (since the moon is female).
If an effect of confusion and sensory dismemberment was intended, then it has been achieved considerably well. Unfortunately, I found it hard to follow.
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