Saturday, November 7, 2009

In the Garden

The dove threatens murder most fowl,
Upon foreseeing the child's howl.
The snake silently,slowly slithers.
Unaware that its life span withers.

The boy stands, paralyzed with fear,
as the hiss of the snake comes near.
The snake reveals its ugly bald head,
The boy believes himself to be dead.

The child for a second time it seems,
Will fall victim to the snake's vile schemes.
The snake is ready now to eat.
However, this time it lacks feet.

The dove, rescinds murder most fowl.
The villain will no longer prowl.
The naive children will not yet be.
Burdened by responsibility.

4 comments:

Mike Carrozza said...

I'm not sure why, but I didn't like this one very much.
I liked the way it sounded when read aloud, but I don't know what it is about the poem, but I didn't "enjoy" it as much as I do your other works.

Chasch said...

I really like the take on Adam & Eve. Once again, kudos for the rhyme scheme. I was confused about the scansion, however. Is there a meter at all? How many syllables are there supposed to be per line?

Francis said...

For each stanza, there are 8 syllables for the first two lines and 9 for the third and fourth.

Except:The third stanza, it's the last two that have 8 syllables and the first two have 9, because the fortune of the snake is reversed.
(Make sense?)

Chasch said...

Ah, yes, I see now! I thought it was 2 of 8 and then 2 of 9, but then when I got to stanza 3 I just thought it was alternating randomly (or I was miscounting). It makes sense now, very clever!