Monday, October 12, 2009

The Things I Hate about westmount

Oh!
How the world is so typical
as I walk down to Vendome Metro.
The retired old & rich
dressed in none other than complete ghost white
matching the so-called wisdom of their hair.
How they play tennis in the cold temperature
Raqueteering the fuzz green ball back and forth
barely breathing
condensation
visible air.
And as I walk,
all the good-looking youth
wearing their tight low cut leather jackets,
the fashion staple for this fall.
Oh!
how the typical disgusts me
when I am in moods such as this.
The typical French Nationalist,
complaining about the language I was raised with,
it seems like all issues begin with language.
Why shouldn't we just destroy culture?
Take away the importance of diversity.
Why doesn't everyone
just listen to the same musicians?
Constantly.
Someone should really invent a weekly top-40,
and replay that list over and over again throughout the week,
that way we can all be the same.
Oh wait..
I have no need for emotion,
PFFT,
So redundant.

But of course,
this is satire,
or a satire of satire;
of Satan dressed in lush Satin,
drinking down his red soda,
while ordering around the knowledgeable.
Let us destroy all, he says.

The worst of all,
Starbucks on Sherbrooke,
The platinum blonde moms
with lethally injected cheekbones
and sanded-down nasal bones,
kissing
cheek to cheek,
with forced smiles,
literally.
"OH MY DEAR! HOW ARE YOUUUUU?!"
they exclaim.
I cringe.
Why am I here?
When has the need for caffeine,
become a breeding ground
for overage desperation,
intellectually handicapped,
and constipated mothers I would not like to fuck
Oh!
And how I am bitter on freezing days like this,
when the average cost of an American Apparel hoodie
is twelve times the cost of Zellers,
they sure sucked me right in.

Whatever,
Do I care, really?
I might as well throw myself on the tracks
and scar some private high school girls
for the rest of their lives.
Oh, the satire.
When will I finally complete a Sudoku puzzle?
I'm getting old,
I might just die before someone will call me normal.
Until then,
Love me the way I am or hate me forever.
Or you can hate me the way I am.
I don't mind.

3 comments:

Chasch said...

I liked this. Oddly enough it sometimes reminded me of Elliot's "Prufrock", maybe it's just because I've been rereading it this week. The end, especially, with the getting old part and all...
I love to hate westmount moms. "Lethally injected cheekbones / and sanded down nasal bones", that was particularly truthful and enjoyable.

Marta said...

Oh man, the whole segment on the westmount moms, I DID cringe when I read it. Omgdeathandhate. I like that whole paragraph, actually. And the image of Satan sitting in red satin. That was good too :)
I like your angry social commentaries.

"Why shouldn't we just destroy culture? / Take away the importance of diversity."

I like that.

antidotem said...

Hail the selection of Banksy.