Silenced

A shipwreck on the sands
I'm falling apart a bit more with every crash
of the waves upon the shore
already broken but intact enough to keep breaking

This week long breakdown
isn't constructive
isn't helpful
these tears aren't healing
aren't soothing
they are just angry and frustrated
hot salty waste of time and energy

These words
I don't know what else to do
what other escape I can take
what other release is allowed myself
because I have no one
and the people I'm with are just making me feel
so much
more alone

I feel better outside in the cold
warmer and more whole
than inside with their eyes and their constructive criticisms
comments about my passion and aggressiveness in issues I care about
well I'm sorry but I was never
lead to believe there was anything wrong with that

I must be mistaken

but these issues matter so why shouldn't I voice my opinion
these things need to be said and need to be heard
so why isn't the public the perfect venue

right now I feel trapped
and silenced
trapped in this house and silenced in my head

I really really really don't
want to cause anyone pain or harm of any kind
but I don't think these thoughts should be silenced


(alternate title; what does it mean when all the valentines you get make reference to your passion and enthusiasm in conversations about issues you care about)