(still working on more chapters. it's going to be awesome...hopefully)
I never understood why
trees got all the attention.
Grass is just as good,
but I can't chain myself
to the ground to
keep the lawnmower
from decapitating them.
My friends tell me that
there's just way too much
grass in the world to save
and that "besides"
it's like they're just getting
haircuts.
I never liked getting haircuts.
For some reason,
this idea felt worse to me.
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2 comments:
I can't believe no one commented on this! I thought it was hilarious! And yet thoughtful...it made me feel sad for the grass :(
First off, the first too lines are such good attention grabbers. At first I thought, based off the title, that this would be a mediumly-heavy piece, but the first two lines really broke that first impression. I was very pleasantly relieved :D
I love how seemingly absurd this poem is, and yet I feel so sympathetic to the speaker. The second stanza, the way he's brushed off by his friends, makes him seem so genuine. It feels like it's a parent explaining it to a child. Yet I feel like he WOULD chain himself to the ground if he could. And I freaking LOVE the quotation marks here! I thought that was brilliant! So subtle, but it says so much about these friends of his.
My one and only beef with this poem is the line, "to the ground to." One, it's awkward on the page, and two, it jumbled the rhythm a bit. I really love the sentence as a whole though (decapitating...so cute! Love it!). It's more about rearranging the line breaks. I suggest either:
"but I can't chain
Myself to the ground
To keep the lawnmower
From decapitating them."
OR
"but I can't chain myself
To the ground
To keep the lawnmower
From decapitating them."
The first example following more of a natural speech pattern (I like to imagine...captain KIRK...reading the lines...), and the second with the rhythm arresting on the word "ground" for more fancy poeticalness.
I really love this poem and thought it was really cute! Especially the last stanza. I love how the speaker doesn't quite understand his feelings for the grass, but feels for them nonetheless.
Oh, and the title! I forgot to mention how it absolutely love it!
He will literally do...NO harm. Whatsoever. Awesome!!
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