Like clear mountain air, crisp and refreshing
I breathe in your music
And it brings me this feeling (however brief) of peacefulness
Like small waves on a calm day
The music gently washes over me
And it makes me feel cleansed for an instant
Like your arms tightly wrapped around me
Your music brings me closer to you
And I’m comforted for a moment by the sounds of your guitar.
But most of all like soft summer rain
It pours down on me, around me
And I want to feel nothing, but the rain on my skin, (and hear nothing but this music)
like sand
I wash you off my skin (out of my hair)
I shake you out of my clothes
I sweep you out of my room
I write you out of my head
I’m removing you from my life
I just wish I could rid you from my heart
——
Like sand,
abrasive,
but soft as you slip through
my splayed fingers
you’re impossible,
impossible like sand
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Ouuuu! I really enjoyed "like sand", especially the second part. Abrasive is such an awesome word. I'm going to add it to my list of awesome words. And splayed fingers... Everything in those few lines worked very well, word choice, line break, the impossibility, which you wouldn't associate with sand, but which makes sense, really. Loves it!
thank you Charles!
I agree with Charles - I liked everything about the second poem except for the "..." - I always find them a bit melodramatic. So I think a comma would be better, and then the poem would be complete in my opinion. Definitely one of my favourites of yours.
duly noted Marta, I shall change it. Thank you!
no comments on the first poem?
I want to comment on "blissful listening," but "like sand" just totally outshines it. I don't mean the first poem is bad, but "like sand" had that special oomph that grabs my attention. I think because "like sand" is so simple and yet conveys so much. It leaves you kind of stunned.
The sand such a concrete and brilliant metaphor. CSMC: abrasive is such an excellent word here, and the splayed fingers...there's no attempt to hold on, just letting it slip away. "Impossible like sand"...so genius. It's so understated, but says so much.
Thank you Andrea.
Post a Comment