Saturday, January 30, 2010

Triad

Another night
He met her at a party in July. He was there with his girlfriend, and somehow the three of them ended up in bed together. He woke up slowly the next morning, languidly registering the girl in his arms. His hands travelled slowly across her toned abdomen around her waist inching their way up to her small perfect breasts. Why is she wearing clothes he wondered, remembering their lovemaking of the night before. It was a passing thought however and as she stirred he slipped his fingers beneath her jeans. Small cold hands grabbed his stopping them, suddenly he realized that his girlfriend was asleep on his other side, and this delicious creature he had been feeling up as she slept spooned against him was the girl that had featured prominently in what he then realized with slight disappointment had only been a dream. He rolled over but soon got up to make both his temptress and mistress each breakfast. As they ate he told them about his dream of having sex with both of them, in graphic detail, and the leading role that the girl played. His girlfriend would make him pay later but it was worth the look on the girl’s face. He knew that in some secret part of herself she was flattered. He hugged her goodbye pressing her curves against him and promised her sex if she’d call.

Some nights I love my job
She opened the door soon after he knocked. She had probably been waiting for him. (The women usually were.) Tonight she was a gorgeous white-armed goddess. In a glance he took in the sleeveless black silk dress that softly clung to her curves. Her rich chocolate brown hair was up in a loose twist, with a few escaped tendrils curling about her face. “Come in.” she said somewhat hesitantly and took his coat. Her skin was smooth white porcelain. He reached his hand out and caressed her cheek, wondering at his nerve but gratified at the blush that rose to paint her face. She was wearing unbelievably high stiletto heels and moved with a dancer’s easy grace. He followed her to a large room which served as a bedroom and living room. She settled herself on one side of the leather coach and he sat on the other. He saw that her dress had begun to fall open revealing the edge of a black lace bra. He leaned over and pulled out the tie of her hair so it fell about her shoulders and he caught the scent of peaches. He wondered why this sexy woman needed him. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off “shhh” she purred “before we go make love I want to ask you one question. What is your favorite book?”
Later lying in sticky sheets panting, after an amazing night of sex he thought to himself; what if I hadn’t lied…
She whispered to him then, so softly he might have imagined it, “Are you glad I called?”

Unexpected
It was odd, how different she looked naked, how unexpected her body was. He hadn’t realized how many layers she wore until he watched her take them off. “You’re staring.” she said matter-of-fact. He turned away abashed. “The bath is ready.” he offered, and she glided by him into the bathroom. He heard her turn off the water and the small splashing sound as she stepped in. “Come keep me company.” she called. So he walked back into the steamy bathroom. Her body was submerged and the piles of bubbles prevented him from seeing past her neck. He could no longer see her protruding bones. “So I’ve lost weight.” she states and he can tell she is proud, proud of her new frail figure, this new fragile shadow of the strong woman she was. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” He decides to be honest “I don’t think you ever needed to lose weight.” She looks at him and shakes her head. “Guys think I am hot now, they look at me, they see me. Though you’d think I’d have been hard to miss before.” She laughs at her own joke. “Guys did notice you before, you just didn’t notice them.” “Well the guys who look at me now make sure they are noticed.” she says with a saucy smile. “And they notice me in a good way.” She adds perhaps still unused to this prospect. “It was in a good way then” I respond, and don’t mention that I was one who saw her that way then.


So these are my three attempts at writing crude and sexual prose, channeling Charles. I could not write one piece of appropriate length, though I thought perhaps with a bit of imagination the first two could be continuations of each other. Regardless, with the three pieces I met the length requirement. Three for threesome, for Garaway's paradigm rule and for three strikes you're out. Hopefully one of them connected.

5 comments:

Mike Carrozza said...

First piece...Need more of this Emlyn.
I have to say, you kind of grazed the edge of what is Charles' work. I mean, he would be more graphic and just generally woud go into more detail.

The second piece was the one that missed the mark for me when it comes to imitating Charles' style. However, I feel like you are improving and for that I applaud you.

I liked the third piece. Wish there was more of it, but again, I don't feel you channeling Charles in that one either.
I really want more from the third, that's what I can stress about it.

Tip of the Cap.

Chasch said...

I agree with Mike (although I'd still like to mention that crude sexual prose is certainly not the only thing I write!!!). In all honesty, the content may have been sexual, but the descriptions weren't graphic enough (when I write something sexual, I usually ends up rather visceral, and at the same time I try to surprise the reader and myself, with unexpected allusions or funky syntax) to be my me.

However, you wrote something very good, and deep in meaning, that is quite different from what you usually write, and for that you deserve applause. I also laughed at the "what's your favorite book" part, I would have definitely written something like that!

The third one is my favorite, by the way.

Emlyn said...

Thank you both. I really appreciate the feedback! Charles we know you write more than sexual prose, just that is what Tabs and Marta singled out from your writing that is most different from what I write. It was quite a challenge, and I did try to write something more graphic, but it ended up sounding to me more like Max than Charles. I am sorry that I in no way did you justice Charles. I'm glad you liked the "what's your favourite book" part, that"s the line that I could see you saying.
Despite failing at writing in your style, I think it was a good excercise, and maybe we should do more theme weeks, maybe till everyone has tried everyone else's style.

Davina Guttman said...

I really like the first one and I agree with Mike, I think this is something that you can elongate.

Andrea said...

I really liked the "favourite book" part, it was very Charles. And I agree with mike and davina about elongating it. I think it would do great ad a stand alone :) I found the quesion about books so unexpected and it gave tr girl a distinct personality, Which I think is what Charles goes for...thinking about his story with the French prostitute. The guy is the main character but it's the woman that's unusual and interesting.