(sorry I'm late. Please comment. something new for me.)
I nurtured your skin and it grew.
You stood so tall on my shoulders,
Watching the parade
Until you asked me to follow one of the floats.
You latched on to my chest and pointed in the direction.
I know you're still young,
But you will let go and
If you believe what I do and
What I teach you,
It will only be for now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
JSMC. This was both beautiful and positive. I like this optimism! :D You should try it more often!
Only thing is (and this is a technical thing rather than about the words themselves but I feel as though it would strengthen the words), I think that punctuation would make this better. I can tell when I'm supposed to stop and where the distinct thoughts are, but I had to go back when I was reading. So either put a period or break it into stanzas, or put a comma or semi-/colon...but yeah. I think this would benefit from an amount of punctuation. But that's all! I loved the visuals this evoked, I could picture it so clearly!
Post a Comment