[I posted this on my own blog a few months ago, and submitted it to my poetry class for workshopping, after which I edited it a bit. Although it may not look like it, it's maybe the poem I've put the most thought into and most things in it are deliberate. So I don't know if knowing this will make reading better or worse, but I'm telling you anyway.]
She stands
There
On the corner of indecision
She jingles
The change collected in the faded recesses of her pocket
Amid crumbs and crumples of paper
And looks
Away
At the street
Where no cars pass by
And the lights change and change back
She jiggles the change
So it clinks and sounds like someone’s home
She juggles the change
Looking out at the darkened windows
Black street
Blacker sky
The red lights shine in her change
Silver quarters reflecting
Glistening
Shine
Tiny beacons of promise tinkling in her palm
Beneath her fingertips
Solid
And empty
As nothing else is
She jangles the change as the lights change and she doesn’t
Green
And an empty white light bidding her to cross
Like death
Only in the shape of a walking man
Held together by a pointillism of lights
She walks
Across
Stands on the corner of decision
And steps into fluorescent beams
Empty smiles across the counter as she walks up to them
And hands over her change
Silver flashing
One last time in the constance of her eyes
Before she exchanges it for a candy from the stand
And steps out the door
Into the bitter air
While the sugar
Rots
5 comments:
*Cringes at the title*
I'll read this when I recover.
Yeah I know. I despise that word. I flipped out just typing it XS but it was the title that was needed.
Everything is frantic. The imagery is just jotty and the whole pace of this seems disconnected and frenzied. I felt uncomfortable reading this
and honestly that has to be the best feeling ever when you read something and the best compliment I've given for an entry here.
One of my favorites. Absolutely brilliant.
I'm not sure what to say about this, but in the good way. I agree entirely with Mike. It is "frantic" and "frenzied" and I also felt deeply uncomfortable reading this. I'm just repeating what Mike said, so it's a major MSMC, but the pace really did it. It's so disjointed and unhealthy, it's almost hard to read, but it was intentional and works extremely well in creating something that has impact. Basically, I liked it, and now I'm going to read it over and over again.
M&C&JSMC.
I think I commented on this one on your blog. I love "corner of decision", and how this poem makes me think in double-vision. Like, through one eye I'm seeing the literal universe that your words portray, and through the other there's some other universe where the same words are meaning different things, and the two are overlapping and it's...it's...
Disorientingly, breathtakingly wonderful.
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