I remember them
near the shores of
lac st louis,
compasses spinning wildly
from the coming frost--
paddling the ice floes,
disbelieving bills
like Scott and his men
before the Norwegian flag,
digging the pebbles of Antarctica
for grubs of honour or memory--
and i lay beside them
where I had
(it seemed a while ago)
collapsed and
opened my throat to the air
until I didn't know
where I was shouting
anymore
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2 comments:
I am...not quite sure how I fel about this.
I love the last stanza. It breaks my heart a little, and it's beautiful.
I like the concept, I think.
It's interesting, anyway, and I can appreciate it, because it's masterfully done.
JSMC. I absolutely fucking LOVE the last stanza and I am jealous I haven't thought of that (that and your other line "We will walk/you will crawl...holy shitballs) because they have such flow to them that in a hardcore song, they would be the part of the song to give the listener shivers.
On to the entire piece. I don't think I understood this the way you wrote it, but the first few times, I thought it was of a man trying to escape a wave of frost, taking over the land progressivly freezing all it comes in contact with. The narrator then shouts in awe of his success, but is completely lost.
That scene freaked me out, although I'm pretty sure that's not how you meant it. But thank you :)
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