I've Been Reading A Lot of Milton Lately

“Ugh.” Eve emitted that harsh, primeval syllable – full of contempt, exasperation, misunderstanding – and walked off into the forest.

Adam stood alone in the sunshine, quite confounded. He had never had a row with Eve before. It was a new experience, and one he did not like. He wasn’t quite sure of what to do, now. He was tempted to walk back to their hut and wait for her there. Surely she would calm down and crawl back to him in a few hours, begging for forgiveness. Of course, he knew it was all her fault. She was a temptress. For Chrissakes, he thought, she came out of my goddamn rib! At the very least she owed him some respect. Yet, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible for her, especially after what they’d done.

With the taste of apple still in his mouth, he walked into the woods after her. It was cold and dark under the canopy of the trees. Adam became strangely aware of things that had never bothered him before: long, hairy ferns brushing against his legs, an itch on his arm, his penis dangling between his legs, touching one thigh, then the other, at each step. He felt awfully vulnerable.

“EVE!” No answer. Where the fuck is she? He cried out again several times, to no avail. Once the sound of his voice had died out in the moss and leaves, a doomed silence filled the forest.

Adam had expected to catch up with his woman quickly, but now he was forced to walk deeper into the woods. Soon it was almost unbearably cold. He could feel goose bumps erupt on his arms, torso, and legs. His nipples became hard and sensitive. He could feel his testicles receding into his crotch, while his penis had shrunk to a little pink bulb peeping out of his pubic hair. For the first time, Adam felt like covering himself.

He found a bush with large leaves, which he yanked out and wrapped around his middle, making a kind of verdant diaper, which he glued with some tree sap.

As he was experiencing the newfound comfort of his rustic clothes, he heard the sound of steps on the forest floor and shaken leaves, as of some animal approaching from behind. He turned around and found Eve standing before him, clothed like himself in a loincloth of leaves – except she had added an upper half to cover and support her breasts. Adam would have blushed, a few hours before, at being seen so strangely attired. Now he was grateful for the leaves that covered his lumps and bumps, and he was grateful that Eve had covered herself also. It would have seemed somehow odd for him to witness her naked body now.

“It’s cold here,” Eve said as a matter of explanation, looking down at her half-covered body.

“Yes,” replied Adam. “I know.”