In following with Jess' post and Mike's suggestion, here are some short pre-determined-word-count pieces!
24: We feel the stars and suns leaking out of our eyes as soon as the moment punctures itself on the sharp edges of acknowledgement.
42: The sea sways as lovers would, dancing, tripping, twirling, to the song they promise-whispered to each other in their tenderest moments that they’d never forget, and as I look across it I wish I’d taken the time to learn how to dance.
10: When you smile, it makes me never want to again.
19: “Love is all you need,” pronounces the song, and I want to believe because it sounds better that way.
37: Simple settled insects click across the flowers you brought for me, chewing, spitting, fornicating all over them, and I fight the urge to throw the bouquet away, because it isn’t its fault it attracts such repugnant violators.
6 comments:
I (predictably?) like 42 best. One change I might make is from "dancing, tripping, twirling" to something along the lines of "stepping, tripping, twirling"--not only does it allow for the idea of motion but also negates the repetition of "dance".
But otherwise--Wonderful! With a capital W.
Oh crap I wrote dance twice! Hahaha okay yes definitely stepping!
I like 37 best (surprise! lol). I just love all the images of grotesqueness, especially emphasized by the insects, and how they're contrasted with girly romance.
Then the nerdy English student in me thinks that the insects are symbolic of sexual desire that is at once natural and hidden within romantic love...Hermia rejects Lysander as a sexual lover but not as a romantic one...the inconstancy of men...AAHHH!
10, 19, 37.
Can't pick a favorite from those three.
10 depends on the mood of the reader. I read this twice today and I read it as defeated and then as having done a good job.
19: YAY :D
37: ASMC. Only not all technical like her :p
I really really like 37. It's funny and sexy and troubling and true, all at once - and in so few words!
24. I guess this is an exercise in not being surprised at who likes which numbers.
And 10 is simply wonderful.
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