(Usually, when I get home at 1 on a Friday night, I like to post my HRC post. This time I wrote Les plaques tectoniques and posted it on my blog and neglected to post it on HRC. As an apology, I've included a new one.)
Les plaques tectoniques
You make me want to run.
Not from anything in particular.
Just run, free of worry and whatnot.
I don't know if you'll run with me,
But I know that I'll have
A hell of a time running
And I will thank you for it
When I make my way
Back around the world
To where you'd stay,
Because I assume that
Your legs are tired
And you want sleep.
I'll be back before you wake up.
Breathing Lessons (new By Polar, This Order song)
I'm pretty sure that I can teach a whale to fly.
But in return it would have to teach me how to swim
I hope he doesn't forget his wings
Because mine haven't grown in and
Now I've turned to the sea to find my way.
2 comments:
Les plaques tectoniques:
As I wrote on your blog, the title made me super inspired to write my own poem which I am really happy with, so I just want to say thanks again! And therefore I might be a bit biased towards it because I'm now quite partial to it all since it has acted as my muse. I thought that the movement in this poem was great, considering it was about running; it flowed quickly and efficiently, going through thoughts in a healthy, open, clear-minded way. It reminded me of when you finish exercising and you get this burst of mental expansion. You're able to look at things more objectively. That's what I really liked in this. It wasn't bogged down by your usual uber-depressing-heart-raped-heartbreak, but instead felt like you'd taken a step back. There was a sense of freedom, and the return at the end was by choice, not because your heart is fucking with you and yanking you back because it's spiteful. I loved the last line, it's definitely like a Mike-end :) The only thing is that bothered me was that you used the word "awake", which I thought was a little formal. You should write it instead something like "I'll be back before you wake up". It tripped me when I read it.
Breathing Lessons:
Loved it. Especially the last three lines. Actually, I wasn't too fond of the first two lines, but maybe they sound better when sung. I would really like to hear the song :) Otherwise, the imagery and concept in general was great. It put such whimsical and yet heartbreaking pictures into my head. It was really like a fairy tale. I'd love to illustrate this, it's very inspiring :P If you need artwork for an EP you're putting this on I'd be happy to do it ;)
I also really like the title. It's just great. Adds so very much to the piece.
Changed the awake thing. After considering it, it fits better this way. Thanks :)
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