From the writing prompts that Charles posted a while ago, Happy new year!

Cocain is one hell of a drug, Felix thought. He was driving down the highway with the top down, and he was really, really fucking high. "THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE IN THAT SHIT!!" the alarmed hooker to his right screamed "YEAH THE GUY TOLD ME THERE WAS ANGEL DUST IN IT! HAHAHA". They both laughed so hard that felix threw up on his dashboard.

He then reached down into his briefcase full of freshly minted one hundred dollar bills and used the paper to wipe up his vomit. "THOSE DON'T LOOK TOO ABSORBENT HAHAHAH" the woman, no girl beside him screeched. Felix continued to clean up his mess at 140 kilometers per hour, and he then disposed of the waste paper by throwing it out of his car. Looking over to the whore beside him, Felix realized that she must not have been over seventeen years old. "HOW OLD ARE YOU?" "WHAT?" "HOW OLD ARE HAHAHA YOU?" "OH! FOURTEEN". Oh fuck, he thought, "WHATS YOUR NAME?" "WHAT? HAHA MY NAME?" "YES!" "HAHA UM COURTNEY" holy shit!! he exclaimed to himself. "SUCK MY DICK COURTNEY I'M THE FUCKING KING OF THE WORLD!"

Felix threw money at courtney and then unzipped his pants. Her nubile lips wer not luscious or plump or juicy, but dry, cracked, red and smugged with lipstick. "WAIT STOP!" Courtney looked up at him. Felix reached over to the glove compartment and pulled out a giant ziplock freezer bag, half filled with the unholy concoction he and Courtney had been snorting for eleven and a half hours. He opened the bag, grabbed a generous tablespoon and smeared the white powder on his throbbing cock. "OKAY! GOOD TO GO! HAHAHAHAHAHA"

When Felix came he grabbed Courtney's hair and rammed his penis painfully deep into her mouth causing her to spasm in pain uncontrolably. She also threw up and more hundred dollar bills flew out of the car in a frightening flurry. "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!" she screamed at him "HAHAHA FUCK YOU COURTNEY! SHOW ME YOUR TITS, I'M READY TO FUCK!"

Courtney got onto Felix's vomit stained lap, his penis glistening with saliva and ejaculate. Now the speed on the car was aproximately 160 k/h and Felix was trying to look at the road and Courtney's pale nipples simultaneously. This failed horribly, and in the car accident that happened shortly after, a mother of three children lost her life.

Luckily for Courtney and Felix, they regained consciousness before the police arrived, and drove off again.

"I need to pee" Courtney said quietly. Driving down St-Catherine street, they both tried to pretend to be normal. They were coming down from their high and the bag was empty. Their head throbbed from the cocain and car accident. The car reflected the insides of their skulls. "My wife is going to fucking have a fit" Felix said. "And so is my pimp. I really need to pee" "Just use the champagne bucket in back, I'm not stopping for anything."

And so Courtney crawled into the back seat, pulled her torn panties up and over the labia of her vulva to one side, and emptied her bladder into a tin bucket.

Ahhhh, what a relief.